2018 was a year of give and take: making cool new connections but also cutting (a lot of) toxic people out of my life. It’s December 30, time to get real for a minute:
Dealing with transphobia that led to me quitting an activist group I was in, and being welcomed into a new one that aims to be radically inclusive, where I’m far from the only nonbinary person and where my bisexual identity is also celebrated.
Still coping with and going to therapy for PTSD, especially regarding the damage my abusive ex-husband did, and having to constantly edit my anger at him out of my work. Trying to strike a balance between holding him accountable for his emotional and sexual abuse, his internalized biphobia and transphobia that he took out on me, and his DARVOing, but not wanting him to subsume and retroactively manspread into my narrative. Being with my current partner now who has always loved me and supported me as a friend and eventually as a romantic partner; who constantly amazes me with their talent; who is my creative partner; who is a thoughtful roommate and amazing cook; who is a partner in the truest sense of the word; who I am truly grateful to wake up next to each morning and sleep next to each night.
Being constantly reminded I can’t trust cisgender and monosexual folks, even the ones who claim to be allies, to put bi+ and trans/nonbinary lives ahead of their own love of gender bullshit, while also being surprised by some folks actually committing to doing the work.
I wish I could leave all the toxic people, hurt, and fear behind in 2018, but I know I hold grudges for roughly 1000 years and that I don’t owe anyone forgiveness! Therefore, please consider my 2019 personal success as a big “fuck you” to said toxic people.
Top 2018 Posts
- Bi Pride Birthday Cake
- Hazelnut Pesto
- “While Stewart attempts to discuss how national marriage equality changed the wedding industry’s courtship of ‘same-sex’ couples, she entirely misses the tension between weddings, capitalism, exploitation, and queer folks.”
- Two of my recipes were in an adorable Yuri!!! On Ice food fanzine
- Crockpot Cincinnati Chili
- Resist but write more. I hope to be able to post twice a month. My intentions for the year are to advocate more for an end to the false gender binary, especially when it comes to food marketing; to break down the hetero/homonormative model of relationships; to queer all the things. I posted at least two posts 10 months out of 12! I’ve been trying to workshop a piece on housework, gender, and relationships for a while, so hopefully I can finish that this year and maaaaaybe get someone to publish it.
- Continue with the queer/fandom meals – try to hit 5 posts on this. Everything was hella queer plus I did the Twin Peaks Pie and cocktail and the Utena cake.
- Actually make fondant (I have liquid glucose and I am slightly afraid to use it) JUST DO IT
- Publish two articles (have a commitment for one and have another that is all ready to go but needs a home)
- Publish another zine. If we did, would you be interested in funding it and getting bonus content on Patreon? We published The Queer Language of Flowers in October and debuted it at Geek Girl Con 2018. Patreon funding covered 1/6 of the total cost of printing. The first run actually sold out–the only copies are available through our distributors right now! Paper Press Punch is printing our second run now and we expect to restock Robin’s Etsy and our distributors sometime in January.
Goals for 2019
- Make at least three The Room Cakes.
- Make at least two Gender Reveal Disaster Cakes.
- Successfully kickstart The Corners of Their Mouth 2.
- Use my cookie gun for something other than spritz. (Bonus points if I can work it into another design.)
- Get another 2 Patrons on Patreon.
- Work on an alternative-holiday series (forthcoming).
Some photos I took that I love but didn’t post: