My new piece “Femme as in ‘Fuck You’: The Life-Changing Magic of Throwing Gender Roles in the Trash,” a nonbinary perspective on gender and domesticity is out in Compound Butter‘s Our Club Issue!
I initially pitched the piece as revisiting the 2010s hot topic of New Domesticity through a non-binary lens.* In the new piece, I discuss having others attempt to gender my interest in cooking; femme solidarity but also the lack thereof; the harnessing the queer power to destroy gender roles vs becoming a bootlicker; my online queer DIY community; and some dry-ass pie crust.
Re-reading the original piece is, as the kids say, a little cringe. I’ve developed such a different understanding of gender after being in community with other trans, non-binary, and queer folks that it feels like a different person wrote it. Which I guess is true in a lot of ways and also shows character development? It’s still so strange to be how being a “geeky feminist food blog” was so radical in 2010 and now seems more like “well, do you mean that in a Girlboss/Gaslight/Gatekeep way, or for real?” Which is why I’m calling this a “queer food blog” now, since it better reflects my values.
Huge thank you to the editors for letting me write this punchy little sequel to some of my work on gender and food from 10 years ago (and for letting me say “fuck” in the title).
*In 2011, I was out as bi at the time and married to an abusive cis man who took his queer shame out on me; versus now, when I have been out as nonbinary/genderqueer for about 6 years and have been partnered with my rad, supportive, openly queer + nonbinary partner for about the same length of time. Plus I’ve managed to find a group of friends who are nearly all queer or trans and we can just be us around each other.