Hello, darling readers! I hope you’re staying hydrated this Pride month (but maybe also thirsty, in the fun way?). I did an Instagram poll about doing a Pride cake retrospective on the blog, and you all seemed to like the idea. Long-time readers have seen most of these (and I’ve got a new queer-as-heck Utena-themed cake to post about soon), but the real reason I wanted to do this was to share my very first rainbow cake that I made well before I started this blog, attended a queer group or Pride event, or even was out to most people–or learned how to bake cakes from scratch!*
This is it:
We’ve come a long way, huh?
CW: this section discusses biphobic partners
I made this cake in May or June 2008, a whole 10 years ago. I came out to myself as bisexual in the summer of 2007 after several years of deluding myself that my crush on my also bi college sempai (who is still a dear friend) was a fluke; despite knowing a number of out bi folks–I was that overly invested “straight cis woman” in your gender studies class who read a lot of fanfic. And actually, w/w fanfic made me realize I was bi. So now you know!
In 2008, I was in grad school, and aside from a Prop-8 Protest I begged my now-ex to take me to, I wasn’t involved in Pride events or queer spaces at all. At the time, I really felt that being bisexual wasn’t an important enough part of my life to merit joining a club or activist group; I didn’t have reliable access to evening events; his activist friend made me feel guilty for not being “queer enough” (holding your problematic friend’s partner to higher standards than you hold them is not a good look); I felt pressure to stay in the closet because I didn’t think people would believe me.
You know that newly-out or closeted bi woman/enby friend you have who is in a relationship with a privileged straight-identified guy who actively impedes them from getting involved social justice/activism/affinity groups while pretending to be supportive, and how you’re like, “Girl, leave him, I have seen his search history or his texts?” That was me! And continued to be me for the next six gas-lit years. Throughout that time I made a lot of queer friends (not all of them bi-friendly), but once we split, I finally, finally got involved in a local bi+ group and also came out as nonbinary. Not only did a make space for myself, I found other folks who made space for me. I try to have more patience and empathy for baby queers who need help either educating their partners into allies or getting away from their partners than was shown to me, and to advocate a non-gender-essentialist, inclusive model of bisexuality.
I know Pride cakes are a bit gimmicky, but I love making queer desserts and rainbows. It genuinely makes me happy to express my identity through my food, and to be in a place in my life where I can just be myself.
Lavender-Chocolate Cupcakes and Cookies
I tried to make lavender-chocolate cupcakes once; this cake-wreck became the inspiration for the Lavender-Chocolate Pinwheels Cookies. (Post contains thoughts on lavender and LGBTQIA+ topics.)
To celebrate their first Pride and their birthday, I made this for Robin as a surprise when we started dating, and they still bring up how validated and loved they felt getting a rainbow birthday cake with homemade sprinkles. (They are a sprinkles fiend.)
Robin and I catered a Pride Brunch for Lambert House in 2016. If you can’t make large-batch rainbow muffins, you can always add rainbow sugar sprinkles!
My take on a cisnormative practice that needs to stop.
Last year’s birthday cake for Robin, with a nod to Rae Spoon.
My friend asked for something that said, “You’re 28 and gay, ” so: Coming soon! Finally got that filling technique down even if I screwed up that crumb layer.
Have a safe and pleasant Pride this weekend, Seattle!
*This isn’t to cake-shame those of you for whom cake mixes are more economical, accessible, or closer to your skill level with baking. It’s okay. I see you.