The Room on Cake 1: “Get out, get out, get out of my life!”

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The Room on Cake 1 Get Out
Image: overhead of the cake. The frosting is white; the text and roses are red. The text reads, “Get out, get out, get out of my life!” Some roses are better than others.

The Room is my favorite bad movie of all time. It’s completely ridiculous and over the top, which makes it endlessly quotable. Despite being about the director/lead actor/producer’s Man Pain™ and “nice guy” toxic masculinity, the movie has shockingly no triggering scenes for me.* Of all my favorite bad movies, this is the one I always come back to.** The one I show to everyone. My partner has florted with me with references from this movie.

I’ve been wanting to make a The Room themed cake for a long time. I’ve also wanted to learn basic cake decorating techniques for a long time, but every time a birthday rolls around, I don’t get a chance (time-wise or financially) to practice and have to do it on the fly with cobbled-together recipes, which leads to a lot of stress, structural issues, and frustration on my end. I’m entirely self-taught and have been slowly acquiring the equipment to improve my decorating. I also don’t care for a lot of the standard decorating techniques for celebratory cakes (think frosting roses, writing in icing, piping trim) but they’re critical to having a solid base in decorating even if I don’t use them in exactly the same way. So, in order to practice those techniques but not bore myself doing it, I decided to offer my services to my friends to mark life events in cake with quotes and decorating themes from The Room. They pick the quote and style/flavor of cake, I pick the decorating techniques.

The Room on Cake 1 Get Out 2
Image: detail of red buttercream rosettes and stars on the side of the cake

The first cake I made was to celebrate a friend’s break-up; my friend picked the quote “Get out, get out, get out of my life!” This is a chocolate cake (“chocolate is the symbol of love”) frosted in a white buttercream crumb layer and top, and has red piped frosting roses on the top and red rosettes on the sides (“can I have a dozen red roses, please?”)

The Room on Cake 1 Get Out 3
Detail: one of the better buttercream roses on the top of the cake

The new technique I learned was piping roses; I also practiced piping rosettes and writing. Predictably, I didn’t have the rose pin I needed, so I substituted a flat-topped wine stopper and piped onto wax paper glued to the top with extra frosting. Since I have a tendency to pick cakes based on flavors and not on style of cake,*** I picked the “One Bowl Dark Chocolate Cake” from Lyndsay Sung’s Coco Cake Land: Cute and Pretty Party Cakes to Bake and Decorate (147) since the recipe was meant to be a layer cake; I also used the “Simple Vanilla Buttercream” from (149) and dyed part of it red. The explanation and photos of how to pipe buttercream roses (8) was very helpful.

The Room on Cake 1 Get Out 4
Detail: another of the better buttercream roses on the top of the cake

Techniques learned: rose buds, writing in print, rosettes

Equipment used: revolving cake stand, impromptu flower nail (kind of–Robin kindly bought me a proper one for my next project), Ateco decorating tips: script (4), petal tip (104), star (32); bench scraper

Notes

*Namely, no scenes or jokes involving queerphobia, transphobia, rape, the male gaze, violence against women, racism, or animal abuse. The Room does contain scenes of drinking, yelling, repetitive sex scenes (mostly focusing on Tommy Wiseau), lethargically destroying a house, stalking fails, and just a lot of nonsense.

**Including Wicker Man (2006), Jack Frost (1964) from MST3K, Titanic: The Legend Goes On (2000), and Showgirls (1995).

***I’ve used recipes for cupcakes, bundt cakes and non-layer cakes as layer cakes and often end up with cakes that are too tall or too dense, or try to double and have not enough or too much batter, etc.

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