Yakima Desert Bluffs, September 2015

Snow is falling somewhere. Many things are falling or will fall or have fallen, but temporary triumph is still triumph. Welcome to the Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area.

Hello, listeners. Another day, another broadcast. Another chance to reach out and commune with you aurally. It has been a couple weeks since we began speaking to you directly, with no filters or reinterpretation in the way, and we have forgotten all about anything any of you might have done. Strexcorp is proud to say that we have carefully recorded and catalogued everything you’ve ever done, and also we have forgotten it all. Don’t worry about it! Let us worry about it for you.

You know, I don’t like the adjectives “new” or “longtime”.  They suggest there was a past before me. I am not new! I am now. We are all now, a now that moves forward at a constant speed and direction. Our present is always becoming the future. We all have that in common.  

 

Monday is a lie that someone told you in order to poison you against the idea of starting your work week. Who told you this lie? Point them out to us, and we’ll make sure that they don’t tell you any more lies. Isn’t that nice? Just honest folks dealing honestly with other honest folks. Just point out the liar and denounce them. This has been the community calendar.

Well, the company picnic in Mission Grove is in full swing. Everyone is exposing their teeth and moving their arms. There are signs posted showing how to move your face and body to indicate maximum fun. There are also snacks. They are on the picnic tables with the paper tablecloths next to the Strexcorp Picnic Captains. Don’t worry about the friendly officers. Grab a cupcake, you’ve earned it! If you’ve done enough work hours, you’ve earned it.  If you haven’t earned however many snacks you take, the Picnic Captains will let you know.

Today’s sponsor is…oh my, looks like it happens to be Strexcorp. Strexcorp: like dew from the sky. Like a cloud that dissipates, only to come again as other clouds. Like the sun…. Like biting down on a fistful of sand. Like words that once held meaning.  Like the sun. Like an enemy, hiding in the depths of your own body. Like the enemy that is your own body. Like a thought you wish you could have, but don’t. Like a smiling god. Like the sun! Strexcorp. Go to sleep.

Quotes from “Company Picnic,” Ep. 47 of Welcome to Night Vale. Transcript here. Audio here.